An outstanding action from my accident was a visit to the highway police to pay a fine for having an accident. I am not entirely sure of the principle, but if you are presumptuous enough to litter the highway with the remains of yourself and your car, you inevitably consume some police time, and as a form of compensation you are required to pay a fine. Presumably, if you are blind drunk and involve others in your accident, the fine may be a little higher. But as I had been courteous enough to write off my car as a solo exercise, my fine was at the bottom of the scale.
I had another reason to visit the highway police headquarters.
I wanted to thank police officer Taworn. It is an accepted fact of road accidents in Thailand that, assuming you are sufficiently unconscious, those attending, or just passing by, your accident, will relieve you of all your valuables. She who must be obeyed was knocked off her motorbike some years ago by some punks trying to steal her handbag. She woke up in hospital with a jaw fractured in three places. The next day someone called and offered to sell her back her handbag and shoes for 2,000 baht. Bastards. But my experience had been entirely different.
I arrived at hospital clutching my beloved camera, which I later learned Khun Taworn had placed in my hands at the crash site. But my pockets were empty of my phone and wallet. Khun Taworn had my phone because he had answered it when she who must be obeyed called, and he told her what had happened. But not a sign of the wallet, so we called and cancelled my ATM and credit cards. Then when she who must be obeyed went to see the police and get my phone, Khun Taworn had handed her my wallet which he had kept safe, complete with cash and credit cards. Top man.
So I presented myself at the station and paid my fine. I signed the receipt as the “alleged offender”, although my offence was written in Thai. The wife said it translated into “dicking around on the road without permission”, but I expect there was some poetic licence involved in her translation.
I then gave my thanks to Khun Tavorn and presented him with a bottle of whiskey, and she who must be obeyed gave him some bags of coffee to keep him going through the night once he has drunk the whiskey. He showed us the log of the accident. You could see that at least 50 more pages of incidents had been logged in the eighteen days since my accident, he must be a busy man. And an honest one; thank you Khun Tavorn.