There are a two problems with the Mini Siam “attraction.” Firstly, it is very expensive at 300 baht. Secondly, it’s crap.
Remember those cut-out buildings you used to get on the back of cereal packets? That’s the level of craftsmanship. When the place was first built, many many years ago, maybe the mini-buildings looked attractive; but clearly very little of my 300 baht goes towards maintaining the place. Some examples:
A Lambo and a Porsche get into difficulties around Democracy Monument:
Off the rails at the railway station:
Bridge over the River Crap:
Don Muang airport looks almost as rundown as the real thing, and China Airlines shows why their landings are always a little rough:
Klong Toey port, minus any details:
A horrible orange Mercedes drives up to a horrible house:
How can I bang a drum with no sticks and only one hand?"
A common feature in this morass of mediocrity is a shadowy figure with no dress sense and a variable haircut. I shall call him Uncle Fester. Here he is being photographed in front of a badly built building. There is a woman with him; rumours are that she is not his wife:
Here is standing suspiciously close to another woman, while the man nearby loses his head in the heat:
Then we see him spying on a scene of perversion as two men indulge in toe sucking, fellatio cannot be far away. An innocent young girl has already fainted with shock:
Picking up a street walker, while his albino brother keeps watch for the cops:
Dealing drugs with his homeys on the street corners:
Yes, Uncle Fester is the kingpin of sleaze in the shady world of Mini Siam; but in a strange way he is the most appealing aspect of the whole experience. To be fair, there are some quite well made “world attractions” near the entrance, but even these do not pass close inspection. I have sat outside the Sydney Opera House, and the cafe area did not look like this:
So, there you are. I have just saved you 300 baht. Pattaya Days - wasting money so you don’t have to.
Comments 🔗
2008-10-10| SukPsycho saysAh ah that’s very good. Now I want to go there! :)
2008-10-10| Jock saysYep hardly the Medurodam ….
Sydney’s had some severe storms of late so the scene of the Opera House is not too unrealistic …
2008-10-10| Richard saysPerhaps a visit to Pattaya Park would yield a wealth of photos along the same line.
I started a tongue in cheek blog several months ago, but have not followed through. Please check it out: http://pattayacitysupporters.blogspot.com/.
Keep up the good work; your photos are awesome!
2008-10-13| todd saysat least the roads look real - all cracked and shitty to drive on.
2008-10-14| Moonman saysThe Opera House looks like a beer bar on Soi 7 given all the passed out patrons flat on their backs. If you look closely, you’ll notice the kathoeys slipping mickys in their drinks.
Also, the driving portrayal around Democracy Monument looks extremely accurate…kind of like the crash derby which is better known as 2nd road.
2008-10-17| John saysThe best part is the Eiffel Tower……….. complete with the victorious German Army marching into paris between its arches.
2008-10-17| mart saysJohn - must be a mistake, for this has never ever happened! :)
2008-10-17| Spike saysNever invaded Poland either…? Must be the German school history books; just like the British history books that told us that stealing other people’s countries in the name of colonialism was “a good thing”.
2008-10-17| mart saysAn invasion of Poland? Thought it was a liberation! Interestingly the German version of the board game Risk is, as far as I know, the only one which uses the words “to liberate” and “liberation” instead of “to invade” and “invasion”… Yes bringing Civilisation to people in need surely is “a good thing”. French school history books would have agreed with that too. Interestingly again German school history books were very progressive as early as the beginning of the 20th century and condemned colonialism but of course it wasn’t really in the Germans’ interest not to…
2008-10-17| Billy saysIt is perhaps time to bring out the time-honoured question about French Roads:
Q. why do French roads have so many trees at the side of them?
A. So that German soldiers can march in the shade
Bom, boom
2008-10-18| mart saysBilly - ever heard about Esthetics? Okay, that was a nice one but what about the “Bom, boom”? I don’t quite get it. Any relation to Soi Yodsak?
2008-10-18| Billy the Brush saysNever, though I am pretty hot on anaesthetics, prosthetics and peripetetics …
Boom, boom, mmmmm, how to explain that one ?@#?
Basil Brush was a fox, perhaps even still is - though of the puppet variety …. he had his own TV show, ostensibly for kids , but with a cult following in the 70s/80s amongst older people who should have known better … for a long time it was almost de rigeur to finish a weak joke with Basil’s “Boom, Boom” famous byline … try this link though you will probably have to copy and paste it.
2008-10-18| mart saysYou forgot pathetics…
You’ve done a good job at explaining it. Thank you! I guess I have to conclude with my own German-French joke.
Q - What’s the difference between one Deutschmark and one French franc?
A - One Deutschmark.
Boom, boom!
2009-06-14| Spike saysEight months on, I still don’t understand this joke.
2009-06-14| Billy saysThe inference is that the French Franc was worth exactly zero ….
2009-06-14| genuine j saysMart; for goodness sake. This “joke” is right out of date. The franc and deutschmark died years ago, around the time the euro was invented and Basil Brush, like Adam, was a lad.
Spike; are you sure it’s a joke? If it is it’s pretty crap. By the way, thanks for saving me 300 baht, not to mention the £400 airfare.
Billy: It’s not an inference. It’s an implication.
2009-06-15| Billy’s Manservant saysAh, a pedant, nothing worse, except for a pedant who is wrong of course …
Don’t be an arsehole all your life, take the occasional day off …
2009-06-15| genuine j saysOh dear! Have we touched a nerve?
2009-06-16| Spike saysPattaya Days, more controversial than the Iranian elections.