She who must be obeyed is a reasonable enough driver, provided she can be convinced to concentrate. But when her mind wanders (dreams of handbags etc.), she is prone to drive into the back of other cars, something she has done twice in the last four years. Personally, I have never driven into the back of anything, apart from the time when I mowed down some oil drums in a racing car; but as I was travelling backwards at some considerable speed at the time with my eyes closed and muttering “please don’t let me die”, I could argue that the oil drums actually assaulted me.
But, whereas she who must be obeyed is not the worst of drivers, she is an unrelentingly annoying passenger. When we are moving she is keen to point out all the potential road hazards (or more precisely, the 63% that she manages to spot), several seconds after I have noticed and allowed for them. When we are stopping she is insistent that we park in a place of her choosing (usually somewhere that minimises subsequent walking). When we are on a motorway she will suddenly decide we are going too fast, a decision that is taken at somewhere between 95 and 155 kph (the “we are going to fast” trigger always fires at less than 155 kph).
So, with her at work, and me needing to go and visit Canon in Bangkok, it was somewhat refreshing to be behind the wheel, alone in the car, and tootling up the much-improved highway to the capital city this morning.
There seemed to be more than the usual police hanging around at the side of the road today, maybe hoping to stop those naught PAD supporters from making their way to the protests in Bangkok. I think one cop jumped into the road with a suggestion that I should stop and make a donation to their benevolent fund, but at the speed I was going it really wasn’t practical. In the absence of my wifely speed restriction device, I used the opportunity to see how much faster than 155 kph I could go. Fifth gear was rather disappointing, even with my foot to the floor it refused to go above 190. But drop it to fourth and it accelerated very happily to 210 kph, and it would have gone further before running out of revs, had I not had the sudden choice of braking or running into the back of a van carrying live pigs. I chose the braking option, even though it would have made for an interesting accident.
Into Bangkok rather quicker than usual and off to see my friends at the Canon service centre. I had been there before to have a service recall fix done to my camera and they had been extremely polite, helpful and efficient; and they did not let me down again today.
I had two offerings for them. First was the lens which I managed to drop some time ago. The lens was OK, but the remains of the filter refused to be removed. The very charming receptionist disappeared into a back room for five minutes and returned with the filter housing a twisted wreck, and safely removed from the camera.
The second problem was a lens which needed to be calibrated. An English-speaking technician emerged from the bowels of the building and sat with me to discuss the problem, apologised that they could not calibrate it while I waited, but would try and get it done over the next couple of days. He then presented me with a Canon magazine as a gift and we parted as firm friends. Good service.
Camera issues attended to, my next mission was to acquire a roof rack so we can transport our SUP to places our SUP would like to go, other than on the beach next to the condo. Into the Thule shop in Central World where a very slow assistant spent the best part of an hour fixing me up with two bits of alloy and various fittings for a price you would expect for an import from Sweden. For two bits of alloy, it was also bloody heavy and I was exhausted by the time I made it back to the car (via a long walk and a skytrain trip). A visit to the Oriental Shop in the Emporium for essential fruit cake and cookies (not sure how she who must be obeyed will fit these into her calorie-controlled diet), and a pleasant change to be walking amongst fewer men with beer bellies and tattooes, and much fewer women with pools of avarice where their eyes ought to be.
Back home and I am looking forward to fitting the roof rack, tying on the SUP, and seeing how fast I can go before the board and rack part company with the car and embed themselves in a passing pig truck. Something less than 210 kph I expect.
Comments 🔗
2008-10-17| Billy saysSounds like you might be better off with the SUP in the car and she who must be obeyed on the roof rack :-)
2008-10-18| Spike saysAn excellent suggestion, imagine the photographic opportunities…
2008-10-18| mart saysYou’d sell your grandma for a nice pic, simply outrageous!