In the ongoing war (not really a war, more of battle. Not even a battle, would be stretching it to call it an argument. Perhaps just a withering glance) to dominate the Country Bubbles chart on this site, Francois has waded in on behalf of the French and placed a link on the French people who love Pattaya site, or more precisely: Forum Francophone des amoureux de Pattaya.
Francois writes “Un blog génial pour ceux qui peuvent lire l’anglais. C’est un expat rosbiff qui raconte sa vie à Pattaya avec beaucoup d’humour. Fortement recommandé.” Fortunately my schoolboy French could work out what that means, merci beaucoup Francois. And I love being called an expat rosbiff! Never realised that rosbiff was the French slang for the English, much more attractive than the Australian offering of whingeing pom, or that gentle Scottish term of endearment; fucking English bastard (hello Liverpool!).
What with all the wars over the past few hundred years, the English and the French are meant to hate each other. Personally I am rather envious of the French. Great food and wine, good weather and elegant women with skin the colour of olives and the sort of nose shape that I find positively erotic. The only thing that annoys me is that bloody game called boules. We used to camp in France every summer and would be woken at dawn every morning by gangs of old men who would roam the campsite playing boules, shouting loudly and spitting on the nearest tent (or perhaps just the nearest tent occupied by rosbiff). Francois, if you could eliminate boules you would make an expat rosbiff very happy.
Sadly, I suspect that many of the visitors to Le Forum Francophone des amoureux de Pattaya are already living in Thailand. There were many links from the Le Forum yesterday, but France’s ball is a little deflated right now. So if you could all just pop back to France, log in and visit and then come back again. Please bring me back some wine, goat’s milk cheese and someone with olive skin and one of those noses. Merci.
Comments 🔗
2008-08-25| François saysYou’re welcome Spike! I can tell you that 99% of the members of this forum live in France but unfortunately, the French are lazy and will not read English texts even if they can. That explain (among other, less trivial things) that the bubble is already back to normal while the Swedish bubble will remain big! Sorry to bust your bubble by the way but “rosbiff” is not a very nice word actually… Oh and “boules” which is more often called “pétanque” is not French but southern French.
2008-08-25| François saysOops! 99% of the members of this forum live in France. Or Belgium, or Switzerland, or Canada. Could get in troubles because of that one…
2008-08-25| Billy saysJust checked and can confirm that France has medium size balls, while those of Belgium and Canada are quite tiny and Switzerland has no balls at all. It was ever thus.
2008-08-25| mart saysBilly, you forgot to use a pseudonym…
2008-08-25| Billy saysJust checked, the French balls are medium sized, those of Canada and Belgium are very small while the Swiss appear to have no balls at all.
It was ever thus.
2008-08-25| mart saysBilly, are you so proud of this comment that you had to post it twice or are you just drunk again?
2008-08-25| Mart saysBilly, are you so proud of this comment that you h ad to post it twice or are you just drunk again?
2008-08-26| Spike saysFrancois, 99.9% of English readers would not read a French text, because they can’t. And we are lazy too.
Billy, I have some good friends who are Swiss and their balls are lovely (so they tell me).
Billy/Mart - Play nicely or I will send she who must obey and not tell me where to park my car round to sort you out.
2008-08-26| Jock saysAustralia’s balls are very small .. tiny even after their defeat by the Brits in the Olympic league table … still way above ‘Les Grenouilles’ though.
2008-08-26| Spike saysDon’t you mean “bubbles”?
2008-09-04| Billy the Brush saysAs promised, I continue to keep a very close eye on your balls depite the nevousness this appeared to evoke. I therefore have to report that strange things are happening to them - and for no apparent reason.
Sweden’s magnificent specimen has shrunk away to near nothingness, while with those of France and Germany are considerably reduced. Thailand’s on the other hand now rules supreme with an enourmous great thing.
Have you reset the counter perhaps? we should be told!!
2008-09-05| Spike saysThe exciting building collapse of yesterday was linked in a local forum, thus prompting a deluge* of visitors. Expect to see France’s ball increasing as Le Forum de Franco-Thai has said something that is driving our EU mates here in droves**.
*Deluge in Pattaya Days context is 250 **Droves in Pattaya Days context is 10
2008-09-16| ukthul saysSpike, your attempt to escape the infamous game of “boules”, by living in the other side of the world is a total mistake. Her majesty princess Kalyani Wathana , did a part of her studies in our country and fell in love with this mighty game, she then decided to introduce “la pétanque” as a part of the instructional in the thaï army (and they are pretty good at it))!!hehe By the way your bubble system is probably another english conspiracy against froggies, it create small bubbles for our overseas territory apart of our main one!! un scandale!!
2008-09-17| Spike saysI agree that the bubbles are incorrectly defined. All current and previous colonies should be rolled into one enormous bubble of the kind, generous colonial master.
So that would give us America, Australia and most of the world. But you can have Wales in compensation, we really don’t want it; all those mountains and that endless singing.
2008-09-17| Billy saysAnd sheep shagging.
2008-09-17| Spike saysSorry,I forgot that characteristic. Even more reason to give it to the French, who would probably admire such a practice.
2008-09-17| mart saysThumbs up Spike, you seem to know the French better than I do! But of course you wouldn’t admit it…
2008-09-17| Spike saysI learned from Blackadder who observed, for example:
About a book that clearly was not factual: The greatest work of fiction since vows of fidelity were included in the French marriage act.
About something that was unlikely to move: About as likely to move as a Frenchman who lives next door to a brothel.
2008-09-17| ukthul saysDamn, should i have precised the humor mode was on?
2008-09-18| mart saysThis Blackadder is a genius, I am starting downloading it straight away! With my current Issan high speed internet access and a bit of luck, I might get it before Christmas…