It’s the 4th of July and the Americans are celebrating their independence from Britain. What do they have to celebrate? They are missing out on black puddings, binge drinking and a sense of humour (as opposed to a sense of humor); and their hip hop stars have ridiculous names that have to be pronounced Jay-Z(ee) rather than the much more sensible Jay-Z(ed).
To gain a perspective of just how much the two countries have grown apart, I have been watching two series about life on an aircraft carrier. Warship follows the British aircraft carrier Illustrious on a voyage, Carrier covers the US aircraft carrier Nimitz.
The first thing you notice are the different production values. Carrier is ten hours of slick material, with Mel Gibson on board as producer (expect bloodshed, torture and Catholicism then). The photography is first-class, at times it is like a re-run of Top Gun, and there is a constant rock music soundtrack.
Warship is half the length and appears to have been shot by a man with last year’s Sony Camcorder. The rock music doesn’t rock quite as hard, and the Top Gun shots are rather limited because Illustrious leaves port with only a couple of helicopters and only acquires four Harriers later in the voyage. Nimitz seems to have an endless supply of sexy fighters which spend their days being catapulted off the deck and landing again for the benefit of the cameras.
In the first two episodes, things don’t go well for Illustrious. The crew are tested on their combat status and capability to leave UK waters; and they fail. Then the boat’s propulsion system collapses and the carrier is forced to limp into a UK port just up the coast from their departure point. No such problems for the Nimitz, although being nuclear powered I assume that any problems with the propulsion system would result in people glowing green and melting, not photogenic at all.
The crew that are featured on the Nimitz either seem keen to get somewhere and drop some bombs on those nasty terr-orr-ists, or seem confused as to why they are there at all. One even expresses the opinion that she made a mistake and wished she had joined the peace corp. It’s an easy mistake, meant to join the peace corp, instead joined a zillion ton warship loaded with strike fighters and ordnance.
No such confusions on the Illustrious. Off to see some foreign places and get drunk at various stop-off points. An notable absence of gung-ho, an abundance of self-deprecating humour and a blind optimism that somehow they will struggle through with a ship that has clearly seen better days.
And that’s the difference. The Americans are slick, supremely self-confident and just a little unaware of the realities of the world. The Brits stumble along, worrying what will break next and whether it is actually possible to land an aircraft on a carrier. Their emotional rock is a chaplain who falls off small boats during vessel transfers and clearly enjoys a beer (the two attributes may be related). The Americans emotional rock, if they have one, is George Bush.
Being British, I know which group I would rather share a drink with. Your mileage may vary. Happy Independence day and Jay-Z(ed), you were ace at the Glastonbury festival.
Comments 🔗
2008-07-05| Billy saysOur mutual hero, Mr Mark Moody Stewart, used to talk of “marching off briskly into the mist” .. I love that; so many now want to analyse it to death before going anywhere, which usually means nowhere ….