The perils of Pattaya

Yet another trip to Bangkok today, this time for the monthly meeting of our condo committee. My passenger is the ex-CIA special operative (at least that is what I think he used to be) who always has a stock of interesting stories to keep us entertained, and in the back of the car we have a stowaway in the form of she who must be obeyed, who has decided to use her day off work as an opportunity for shopping in Bangkok. She asks if she can charge some perfume to our credit card (I forget how it was I was persuaded to get her a credit card, but I suspect I had been drinking at the time). I allocate her a maximum amount to spend which she duly exceeds by 123.2%, which is pretty much what I expected.

The meeting is at the large, rambling house of our Chairperson. She is the wife of an ex-government minister and has close connections to the royal family. With such credentials she is assured of respect from all Thai condo owners, and she garners respect from the foreign condo owners by being smart, fun and feisty. Our management company send along the usual battalion of engineers, accountants and people with no obvious purpose other than to spend the meeting looking petrified in case someone asks them a question. Four Thai committee members turn up, but the four foreign committee members are one short. The missing member was meant to be in my car, but he muttered something last night about making his own way so we left without him.

I knew that he had recently broken up with his girlfriend, and that he has also been having problems with back pain, so with some concern I texted him to ask if he was OK. After a few minutes I received the following reply:

Woke up with bimbo adjacent which had some credit remaining, so waste not policy was selected.

So while we exercising our minds regarding the proposed costs of overhauling the condo waste water system, he was exercising his genitals and further buggering up his back. I suggested that we minuted his non-appearance at the meeting as being “absent due to excessive shagging.”

Comments 🔗

2008-07-08 | Billy says

One of the fun bits of having a blog is deciding on a title. I think you missed an opportunity here, it should have been “Absent due to excessive shagging”, though the Google Bots attention may have later attracted the lower end of society.

2008-07-08 | Spike says

Indeed it would have been a more catchy title. But this is family publication, with a select and sophisticated readership (apart from Jock). I don’t want to lower the tone with words such as shagging, fuck or wobble-bottom in the title.

2008-07-08 | mart says

Yeah you said it, a respectable family publication, my grandma’s subscribed to the feeds! Go on Spike, keep this blog clean, my grandma’s proud of you! PS: what’s “wobble-bottom”? British English for “booty shake”?

2008-07-09 | Spike says

Wobble bottom popped into my head. Not in such general usage as booty shake might be over there in the ex-colony. I think it was lodged in my brain because it was used in an episode of Blackadder, one of the finest examples of English humour in existence. Respect to your grandma, we will keep things clean just for her!