It’s been a busy few days. A trip with Nik and then a couple of days processing photos, writing this blog and catching a bit of windsurfing. Yesterday I spent all day finishing off the photos of the disco condo shoot, so this morning I was looking for a more leisurely day. Then the wife walks into the room carrying four sets of Playboy lingerie.
This was a bit of a shock at 0730. She knows that mornings are not my time. She knows that evenings are not my time either; and anyway it is not the usual third Thursday in every month, so what is she up to? Turns out she wants me to photograph the lingerie so she can sell them on eBay.
So, after some bracing coffee, out comes the tripod and I try to set up for a shoot. But there is a problem in the form of one of the cats which has an unhealthy interest in my wife’s underwear.
Bikinis are regularly stolen from the clothes line and dragged around the house as trophies. The cat has been allocated cast-off items (usually cast-off because she has chewed them), but a bag full of brand new lingerie is a tempting target and, just as I was setting up items to photograph them, she would jump on the table and attempt to steal them.
I was in the middle of trying to shoot a particularly virulently coloured pink offering,
whilst simultaneously shooing away the cat; when in walked one of the condo maids…..
You could see it all in her face. Here is a man whose wife has been away working for just one week and already he is raiding her underwear drawer to take dirty photos for god knows what nefarious purpose. I made explanatory arm gestures and muttered “ebay, ebay”, but to no avail. She withdrew quickly, convinced she had walked in on a pervert, and even now the story will be circulating throughout the condo. I will have to kill myself, or leave. No reasonable offer refused.
Comments 🔗
2008-07-16| mart saysShall we consider the brown sock, the human foot and the toothbrush as parts of the package?
2008-07-16| Spike saysDon’t you want the ears too?
2008-07-16| mart saysOf course I do! But only if the cat hasn’t chewed them!
2008-07-17| Jock saysOh come on. The maid actually caught you taking a photo of yourself wearing the pink underwear. Spare us and don’t share it with your readers.
2008-07-17| Spike saysYou are close. Actually I photographed the maid, in the black bustier. Shall I post the photos here? No, you say? OK, more flowers then.
2008-07-17| mart saysYeah, yeah, talk about flowers, we haven’t seen any for a good week and grandma is close to unsubscribing from the feeds… Here you go grandma, one of your favorite species, an Amorphophallus Titanum: http://tinyurl.com/6xa7z9
2008-07-18| Jock saysOh Dear Mart you are a sicker f*cker than even me (sorry grandma).
That was not a flower .. it was a virgin being DEFLOWERED.
More pics of deflowered thai petals pleae.